Hint of Ink
by Darkira
Summary: A little story of a morning in a relationship where things have stopped being simple or easy years ago. Melancholy little story, but not completely without hope. You'll see. Written for Posy. / AU/AH/M/E


**Disclaimer: **All things Twi belong to SMeyer.

This story is all mine (though my mind borrowed the style from another writer in another fandom and some of you know who it is. ;)).

This hasn't been beta'd and yes, the change of the tense towards the end is intentional.

I wrote this for my girl Posy.

I hope the rest of you will like it too.

**:: :: :: ::**

Hint of Ink

Edward woke up and peered at the clock on the bedside table. Nine? How did he...? But the sunlight streaming into the room from over his head confirmed it was true.

Exhaustion had knocked him out cold and for once he was quite happy about that. He hadn't been sleeping well, not with all the work and the strange growing, sneaking tension at home. It was too difficult for him to stay alert in both environments and at work he saved, or tried to, lives.

He turned around and looked to the side. Jasper was still asleep. For a moment he let himself hope that this wasn't it. That there still was something between them, something grand and proud and perfect. But ten years is a long time, twelve even more so.

Somehow Jasper still looked exactly like the man Edward had fallen in love with that summer. All long limbs, tangled curls in the color of fresh honey, tan that seemed to never leave him and made Edward want to lean in and take a whiff of the possible lingering scent of sunlight.

The closed eyes were stormy blue, darkening a little bit when Jasper was aroused or, the reason Edward seemed to see the color more these days, frustrated. It was Jasper going to explode, one way or the other, that let Edward see the hint of ink around the irises.

So maybe it was Jasper who was the artistic one here, but Edward wasn't blind, not by a stretch. He knew the value of the beauty beside him, but somehow things were wrong now. Tainted with bitterness and '_don't touch me' _and '_fine, have it _your_ way' _and '_no I didn't _forget_ our anniversary, I was _working'_._

Edward got up slowly and padded into the kitchen as quietly as he could manage. He knew the sunlight would wake Jasper up soon enough, as the blond didn't like the warmth like Edward did. It was the only minus side of this apartment they had bought seven years ago; the bedroom was small and during the summer months it faced the morning sun. Other than that, it was just fine.

He looked at the cat stretching on the couch and smiled.

"Morning." Edward whispered to it and realized, that even the cat was now used as an excuse for a fight. When it was behaving nicely, it was Edward's cat or their cat. When it did something stupid like drop a pile of papers from Edward's desk or woke Edward up to give him food after a long shift at the hospital, it was always Jasper's cat.

They had got it together ten years ago and it had not been a young cat by anyone's standards by then either. Now, it was clearly getting old, slow, cranky and even more needy than before. It seemed like the furry beast somehow resembled their relationship somehow.

Edward shivered a little at the thought of the cat dying in its sleep one night. Would that happen to their relationship too? _Had_ it already happened?

He prepared a mug of instant coffee. Jasper hated it and insisted on making his own coffee with the expensive coffee maker Edward still couldn't remember how to use after a few months of having it.

When he got his caffeine into a mug, he went to brush his teeth and relieve himself. Shaving could wait. He had three days off work, a miracle on itself, and he was going to look like a caveman if he wanted to. No need for the clean shaven Dr. Cullen here. Hell...once Jasper had loved his stubble...now he didn't remember the last time he had commented on it at all.

After washing his hands, Edward came to pick up the coffee that had now cooled a little. He carried it to the bedroom and placed it on the high windowsill above the bed. The view was lovely from this window; a park with all sorts of flowerbeds and a little pond in the middle. They lived on the third floor so they weren't too low but could still see above the trees lining the park.

Not that he often looked at the view from here or from the study next door. He was usually working away from home and too tired when he got home. He suspected that Jasper looked at the view a lot more often, given that he worked from home, writing his novels next door, his desk facing the windows that were lower and allowed him to see the park in all its beauty.

Edward knelt on the bed next to his pillow and leaned his elbows to the windowsill. He opened the window carefully, wanting to let the fragrant summer air in and smiled when it hit him. Lilacs were in full bloom and the mild but recognizable scent floated across the street.

The playground was occupied already, it was in the other side of the park and he could see little children in colorful clothing running around, digging in the sand, climbing and hanging and sliding in the elaborate jungle gym all of the neighborhood had pitched in, even Edward and Jasper. They took Edward's niece Angie there sometimes and when Jasper's sister and her husband were visiting with their twins, Jasper went there alone with the kids, soaking up their funny little Texan accents and gestures that were clearly from either Rosalie or her husband Emmett, a childhood friend of Rose and Jasper. It was priceless to see a five year old gesture in the same way his father, a former pro football player with a massive frame, did.

There was a small smile curving Edward's lips as he leaned to look out the window. Sipping his coffee, he stayed there for a while. The hand on his calf startled him a little, but for once he didn't flinch from the hesitant, almost non existent touch.

Jasper looked at the man he still loved so much it hurt sometimes. When did they turn into this strange couple who tried not to touch each other if they didn't have to? Once they did everything together. It was difficult to fit two tall frames on one couch but somehow they always managed, with or without the cat, while watching a movie.

When was the last time they watched a movie together?

Yet here, in the gentle morning light, Edward was more beautiful than ever. The lines of his body had changed a little bit, maybe he looked a bit more tired and definitely more man than when they had first met. It was like then, there had been hints of a man in the boy, now there were hints of the boy in the man. Maybe it made no sense, but somehow, Jasper knew, Edward would have understood if Jasper could have just found the words to say to him. But not now, not here, not when the magic of the morning could be so easily broken and there could be another round of snorting in the wrong, not really amused way and Jasper wondering where his caring, understanding lover had gone.

Because at some point that man had left and in return Jasper had got this strange, shadow-Edward. This one that was cold and frigid and either always tired or cranky and taking it out on Jasper and sometimes the cat.

The tiny little smile he had just seen play on Edward's lips was the first in... Days? Weeks?

He took in the sight, strong back and muscular shoulders. The muscles of Edward's thighs were straining and his biceps looked so good Jasper could feel the effects on his body. How did he ever get so lucky? The hair that seemed to sparkle strange shades of red in the morning light and the pale skin of Edward's back... That was when Jasper realized Edward hadn't gotten dressed yet this morning. He was still wearing his green boxer briefs that hugged his ass perfectly. Jasper smiled at the thought of these particular green briefs. Edward had about five pairs of them, all the same and he liked to sleep in them for some reason.

"Why do you like these so much?" Jasper asked, raising the hand that had been hesitantly touching Edward's calf and touched the edge of the soft fabric. And then he held his breath. Who knew what the answer would be, hell, it might make Edward bolt away from where he was and the thought of that made Jasper's heart constrict painfully in his chest.

To his surprise he got a blush instead of sharp words as an answer.

He rolled to his side properly and sat up, looking at his husband quizzically, "What?"

Edward took a sip of his coffee, still leaning to the little ledge under the window, and smiled shyly.

"I..." Edward said and licked his lips and tried again, "You...you once said... You once said they looked nice on my skin. The color...that it went nicely with my hair..." he nearly mumbled the words out. He left out the comment about his treasure trail also looking nice against this particular shade of green.

Jasper's mouth hung open a little as he processed the information, but his fingers swiftly moved to circle Edward's ankle and held on, making sure the other man couldn't leave the situation.

"But...but you just bought a new pair last week?" Jasper asked, clearly baffled. It made no sense. The first pair was a present a few years ago. When they still would...occasionally... They...there was no intimacy between them, not anymore, so why would...

He just had to ask.

"Is...was it...out of habit or..." the words forced their way out of Jasper's mouth and it suddenly felt like his heart might stop in anticipation of the answer. This could be it. _It_.

"No...I think...I think I wanted you to notice..." Edward said in a tone so vulnerable that Jasper knew he wasn't the only one who was scared in this marriage.

And there's no '_sorry_' or '_no it was my fault too_', but suddenly the morning is filled with such longing it makes Jasper's breath catch and Edward's fingers nearly lose their hold of the mug. Everything is just _right now_, not yesterday or next Tuesday or last summer.

"Put the mug near the wall so you won't splash it." Jasper says quietly, in a tone that makes something deep inside Edward's body tremble and flutter. He does as Jasper asks and waits for another instruction.

The brief moment his eyes are on the mug, Jasper moves and suddenly a warm tongue licks his calf slowly, making Edward shiver in a pleasant way.

No words are needed, words have proved to be inefficient, wrong and sharp and that's everything they don't need right now. Not if they're to save this or even try to.

Slowly Jasper lets his fingers slide under the piece of fabric and grabs two handfuls of Edward's flesh. How do you miss feeling someone's ass like this? How do you _not realize_ that you miss it so much?

"Look at the park, love." Jasper whispers, his lips against a pale shoulder blade.

Edward doesn't obey immediately, instead he turns his head back and his eyes flutter closed. He's asking without words and Jasper feels strange moisture on his cheek when it hits him that they haven't kissed for at least a month. When they last did was for show for some friends who were worried about them.

There's nothing fake about this kiss, now when there's so much warm skin touching and he feels like crying. There's _joy_ in kissing his husband again and it feels like blasphemy to have lost it on the way to this mess.

After their tongues dance together for a moment, in a familiar and slightly sloppy way given the angle, Edward pulls away and opens his green eyes again.

"I love you," he whispers and his eyes flicker away from Jasper's so he doesn't have to see what ever emotions plays in them.

Jasper says nothing but Edward isn't alarmed. He knows that his partner, his love, can use words like not many people he has ever met. Jasper just doesn't know how to say them, he knows how to type them and put them on paper but to get them out right and give them real voice, _his_ voice, he's hopeless. Somehow that isn't infuriating this morning, instead it seems like a valid reason for how there's still love in here this too small bedroom.

Edward looks out into the park and gasps, inhaling a hefty doze of the scent of lilacs, when he feels his underwear being pushed down to his knees. The hands that trail his muscles are gentle, fingertips smooth from the typing Jasper does, familiar and somehow not because it's just been _so_ long.

When he feels Jasper move behind him, he wants to look but doesn't as he knows this game. The way Jasper's long fingers knead his ass, almost reverent somehow, makes his breath catch for a moment.

The tongue that descends along his spine makes him gasp again, because he knows his man, he _knows_ what this means and it's been _years_ and once in the past this was something normal, not a luxury and definitely not something that shocks him into silence.

This is Jasper's '_I love you_' and '_I'm so sorry_' and even '_don't leave me_' or rather '_come back to me_'.

The strangely foreign and familiar nip of teeth on top of his left cheek makes him jump and chuckle breathlessly. There's an old scar on the right side, from a rock climbing accident when he was in his teens, before he met Jasper. And just like that there's the familiar sweep of tongue against that scar and then everything around them fades faster than ever before when he feels the tongue make its way down the crack of his ass.

Distantly he feels being parted and kneaded, but he's throbbing hard now, fighting to keep his eyes open and directed at the greenness of the park in front of him and the sun warming his torso and face. He can smell the coffee and the lilacs and freshly cut crass and he revels in the warmth of the fingers on his hip, keeping him still while the gentle tongue laps over the most secret part of his body.

There are no tops or bottoms in their relationship, there never was, but he vibrates now in some space between wanting this to last forever because it's _so good_ and wanting it to be over so that he can feel himself being filled and loved and _held_.

As much as Jasper loves everything about what he is doing right now, he wants more. It has been so long he can feel himself dripping, knows it won't take long at all. The taste of Edward is familiar as he lets his tongue flick and probe the flesh he still gets to touch like this. He knows the sounds Edward is making, the primal, silent noises only Jasper gets to hear.

Those sounds are floating out of the window and into the summer morning and the thought makes Jasper giddy with happiness and love.

When he pulls back, finally, making Edward let loose the whimper of disappointment and anticipation, he can't help the silly grin on his face as he reaches for the nightstand drawer for the bottle of lube he knows is there, neglected.

It takes all of one penetration with two fingers to make Edward rock back into him, gasping and begging without noticing that he's doing so and Jasper leans his forehead his back as he spreads the lube on his length.

He needs the willpower he knows is somewhere in him to do this right. He wants to revel in this, not knowing when it will happen again as it's too soon to hope and it might never and the thought is something Jasper can't let enter his mind right now.

Jasper pushes ever so gently, feeling the resistance and the familiar way Edward's body tenses at the initial pain and then relaxes when Jasper pulls him back to lean against his chest. Jasper is keeling between Edward's legs and sitting on his heels, letting Edward control everything. All he wants is to feel this familiar, tight heat around him and to feel his lover so close again.

Suddenly it matters little that they're connected like this, all that matters is all this skin against skin and strong arms around Edward's body and the head lolled back on Jasper's shoulder. They move as one, like it hasn't been so long, like there haven't been all the nasty words and the cold undercurrent in everything.

When Edward comes the second time, now around Jasper's cock instead of his tongue, the blond man lets himself go, biting the shoulder in front of him, marking what is still his as he explodes inside the warm body he loves so much.

Edward wonders if he gets to see the ink slip into Jasper's eyes, if they'll do this again, but the moment is still too fragile for him to ask even when they lay down, basking in the moment afterwards.

They're sticky and making a mess and Edward's green underwear is still around one ankle but they don't care.

There are still no words, no apologies because they both know they're both to blame and that arguments are still just around the corner if they go that route so they don't.

"The cat needs his breakfast." Jasper says after a while and Edward smiles.

"If I cook later, do I get to pick a movie too?" he replies and maybe, just maybe there's hope after all.

**:: :: :: ::**

**A/N: **No, I won't ever continue this (unless it's for a good cause like FGB or something).

Still hoping you'd say a word or two about it though?


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